porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
