Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
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I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
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She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
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