come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
She told me I should be a condom model.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
Randomize
