You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
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