this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize