he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
Randomize
