You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
Randomize
