I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Randomize
