we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Randomize
