the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize
