she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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