I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
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I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
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Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
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