My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
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