If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Randomize
