i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
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