I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
