I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Randomize
