just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
be right there i have to get my cape
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize