I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
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