So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Randomize
