Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
These 25 Drunks Should’ve Gotten Cut Off A Long Time Ago
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
27 Freshmen Who Really Didn’t Know What They Were Getting In To
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.