Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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