How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
