I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
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