If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
