Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can