I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Randomize