A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
there was a trapeze. enough said
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
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After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
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Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
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