my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
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