are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
Everyone says I win the strip club
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
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