Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
Randomize