you're like a bully in the Christmas story
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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