I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
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