it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
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