yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
