SEEEEXXX PLEASE
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
Randomize
