so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
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