That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
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