I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
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