I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Randomize