I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
Shitshow foam night was such a success
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
Randomize