dude i'm inner monologue high
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
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