Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Randomize
