The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
false alarm, still single
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
