I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
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