summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
Randomize
