it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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