I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
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