so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Randomize
