"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
Found your dick twin last night
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
Randomize
