Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
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