I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
The dick lei will go down in squad history
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
