If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
A very confused plastic surgeon just called. Apparently I called asking how much it costs to get a vodka funnel installed straight to my brain...
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
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