but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
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