let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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