lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
