Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
Randomize
