Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
Randomize
